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Public Liability
Insurance for your Base, Lair or Fortress
Congratulations on your decision to take out Bad
Guy Public Liability Insurance!
As a card-carrying villain, dictator or maniac
you may not be greatly concerned with the health and safety of
inferior persons. However, nobody likes being sued, and it can be a
real nuisance if you're between lawyers because you fed the last
incumbent to the piranhas. Lengthy court proceedings will wreak
havoc with your plans to kidnap a minor royal or blow up the Moon,
and it would be a pity to pull off the biggest heist of the century
only to pay out half your loot in damages claims.
For fully comprehensive cover, you need to take the nature of your
fortified hideout into consideration. If you're based at the peak of
a mountain or volcano, for instance, trip hazards abound and
visitors may suffer altitude sickness. If the volcano is active, add
smoke inhalation and burns to the list of possible injuries.
Underwater lair? Risks to staff and trespassers include drowning,
sharks and any number of harpoon-related mishaps.
Chances are you've called in a subcontractor to hire your guards or
footsoldiers, as well as the cleaning and catering staff, because
you have bigger fish to fry - or enemy agents to liquidate. That
means you're responsible for all these henchpersons as they go about
their nefarious business, covering them for everything from cat-fur
allergies to invasion by the Marines. You may even have to
compensate their next of kin should they be killed or horrifyingly
disfigured in the line of duty.
On a serious note: your business
NEEDS public liability cover. Go here now to
compare quotes!
No matter how well-camouflaged your HQ, how powerful your electric
fence, how trigger-happy your sentries, at some point the inevitable
will happen and a lost tourist will wander in. Public liability
insurance will protect you from the consequences should they stray
into the beam of your laser cutter, or inadvertently press the
Self-Destruct By Nuclear Explosion button.
Finally, sometimes your innocent tourists are less innocent than
they initially appear. I'm talking, of course, about the greatest
threat to your lovingly-crafted stronghold: the Hero. He'll sneak
in, decimate your workforce, steal your voluptuous sidekick and
generally ruin your day.
There's only one thing worse than having your cosy nest invaded and
blown to smithereens, and that's getting landed with a massive
dry-cleaning bill for the hero's tux afterwards. Bad Guy Public
Liability Insurance: so you can live and let die. |